I’m in New Orleans, in order to avoid the capitalistic and christian ordeal that is Christmas. I’m known as replacement Mo down here, which is a constantly amusing thing. Everyone is really nice, and it is a lot of fun. It is a little hard that everybody drinks and smokes all the freaking time, but I’ve certainly dealt with that issue before. I’m also into waking up without a schedule. Too often I am still controlled by a protestant work ethic that is socially ingrained in me that says I have to be scheduled and working on certain things all the time. I definitely need to loosen up a lot, this helps. It is hard work getting rid of all of the crap you’ve been socialized into. Slowly killing the voices in my head that tell me people who don’t work are lazy. Slowly killing the voices in my head that try to make me feel bad about myself for not being ‘productive’ for the capitalistic beast. I really question what I want to do in a couple months. I’ll be done with school for permanent, and I have a lot of options. I don’t want to get too tied down, and I don’t want to get too routinized. I do that too easily, which means I need to seriously question it. I can be doing things that are amazing and creative and awesome for me, but without getting into a rut. I like routine to the extent that it enables me to do shit like go running and work out a lot, but I dislike it when it kills my adventure. I’ve always lived stably, I’ve been extremely privileged in that, but I think it is time to stop that. Cause it might not be right for me. But I need not a typical travelling life either. Cause I would not be happy drinking a lot and sleeping a lot and not doing anything. I want to be able to read and write and run a zine distro and be an activist etc. But with some train rides thrown in. It doesn’t make it any easier that travelling kids tend to be mad beautiful people, inside and out. They make me happy. I don’t really think I would feel comfortable owning a house in Richmond. Maybe squatting is the answer. And as much as I want to pierce and tattoo, I don’t want to have to work 60 hour weeks. That is what SIHF does, and I’m sorry, I don’t care that freaking much. We’ll see, I guess.
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