I am probably going to write more about this later, but I just really have to say that I think in many situations of calling out an accused perpetrator of sexual assault the people doing the calling out are more after the satisfaction of a witch hunt than the solution of an accountability process.
I find this problematic.
I am not talking about the survivor. I support the survivor’s right to feel any way they want to. I am specifically talking about people who are NOT the survivor, but who might be friends of them or just somehow became involved in calling someone out.
I understand the satisfaction that comes with being mean, I think we all do. But I also understand that it is a short lived satisfaction that will not lead to positive results for our communities.
It is hard enough to get perpetrators to be involved in an accountability process. I believe immature behavior on the part of accusers and others makes it less than likely for a perpetrator to want to get involved. Ultimately, yes, of course it is always the perpetrator’s responsibility to take on accountability and work through their shit. But it is unnecessary and unhelpful to make that more difficult than it already is. And doing so creates more risk for our communities.
I think that if the demands for accountability are not genuine the odds of getting a perpetrator to be accountable are slim. You can’t expect someone to take a demand for accountability seriously when it comes wrapped up in insults.