Tag Archives: gender

Genderqueer

18 Aug

I think that there are many misconceptions about the concept of gender queer. It has not been a particularly mainstream idea for very long. Arguably, it still is not mainstream.

Genderqueer is essentially a rejection of the binary gender system (male or female, boy or girl, man or woman). Claiming gender queer is basically saying, fuck a binary gender system, these gender roles that exist are too confining/limiting/inaccurate/fucked up etc.

Claiming genderqueer is not the same thing as saying you are trans. There is definitely overlap. Many radical trans people will also identify as genderqueer because they see the gender binary system as inherently oppressive. Some genderqueer people choose that identity because they see more than 2 genders. Others, because they don’t feel comfortable as either of the 2 genders. There are many reasons people choose genderqueer. It is a fairly fluid concept, with the main point of unity being a rejection of the binary gender system.

Claiming genderqueer is not oppressive. Claiming genderqueer does not cancel out other privileges that one may have. It is not a way to deflect those privileges. If a male bodied person says they are genderqueer, but they frequently pass as male, they still ought to acknowledge the way that male privilege plays a role in their lives. If a white person is genderqueer, that does not in any way eliminate their white skin privilege. And I have never personally encountered anyone trying to use genderqueer as a way of avoiding accountability for their other privileges. Continue reading

Queer

24 Jun

I think I came out as ‘bisexual’ to my parents when I was 15 or 16. They weren’t happy.

Despite that, and my later identification as queer, I have had primarily heterosexual partners of the opposite sex. I have dated a lot of straight men. And I have had a really hard time with relationships and with my relationship towards sex. I have spent a lot time bouncing back and forth between monogamy and polyamory. I have all the baggage from being raised by a Catholic father. I live in a society that makes it easier to be straight than to be queer.

Despite identifying as queer, I have kind of let that play only a background role in my life. I have concentrated on other things, other politics, other movements. And because of that and my lack of critiquing my own behavior, I just dated a lot of straight men. I don’t hate men or hate dating men. But more often than not, the dynamic I have experienced in these relationships has left me feeling disconnected, annoyed, or just off about the relationship. Continue reading